Joke Time event

ang babaeng sumipsip
ng aking taba
-Vicky Belo-



ang babaeng walang tadyang
-Sex BombGirls-





ang babaeng malaki ang tadyang
-Nadia Montenegro-







ang baklang nasa nguso ang tadyang
-Diego-







ang babaeng mukhang tadyang
-Patani-







ang babaeng bakat ang tadyang
-Bebe Gandanghari-

Baklang napasama sa away napasubo

e2 old skul na to e.

may Americano saka Americana, hinahabol sila ng
dinosaur sa isang gubat. e nkakita sila ng tulay na pag natawid nila ay tuluyan
na nila matatakasan ung dinosaur, kaso isang tao lang ang pwedeng
tumawid sa tulay. anung gagawin nila para maging ligtas sila pareho??




Answer: susuotin ng americano ung americana ^___^V

Apo: lola, ang galing ng teacher namin.

Lola: talaga? bakit?

Apo: kasi tinuruan kami ng magandang asal.

Lola: ahh. edi marunong kana mag"PO" at "OPO"

Apo: natural. tanga ka ba?

from my friend's joke book. ((:

koorny |:

nakatayo lng kambal q (el tumador)

joke na sakin un. hahaha

May isng panget na lalaki na humiling sa fairy.......



Fairy : Ano ang iyong kahilingan ginoo....






Panget : May mapa ako d2 ng America dalhin moq para makita q
ang babae ng buhay q.....






Fairy : Hindi Pede!!! D2 lng sa pinas nagana ang powers q!.!.!.!.!





Panget : o cge, maging mortal ka na lng na babae at pakasalan moq....





Fairy : PATINGIN NGA ULET NG T*NG IN*NG MAPA YAN NG MAGAWAAN NG PARAAN......

----------------------------


Napancn q Lahat ng Cute
Makukulit.......
Napancn q Lahat ng Cute
Makukulit.......
Napancn q Lahat ng Cute
Makukulit.......
Napancn q Lahat ng Cute
Makukulit.......
Napancn q Lahat ng Cute
Makukulit.......
Napancn q Lahat ng Cute
Makukulit.......
Napancn q Lahat ng Cute
Makukulit.......
Napancn q Lahat ng Cute
Makukulit.......
Napancn q Lahat ng Cute
Makukulit.......
Napancn q Lahat ng Cute
Makukulit.......


Ang kulit ko nohh napancn mo???

(corni ehehe )

NENE: nay, pinatambling
aq knina sa skul!


INAY:gaga! gusto lng nla mkta
panty mo.


NENE:lam q! kya nga tinago q sa
bag ung panty q eh !! nu kala nila
skn tanga? hahaha.

____________________________________

2wing
my knakasal tnutukso aq
ni lola


uyy, xa na
susunod


2mgil
lng xa
nung my
dumaang karo ng
patay,


tnukso q sya
dn xa.


uyy xa na susunod!
pinalo
aq!hehe,


____________________________________


BATA: ate pg wala
kbang tenga
mghihikaw k?

ATE: Syempre Hindi

BATA:eh pgwala
kng daliri mg sisingsing ka ba?

ATE: Syempre hindi dn!

BATA: eh bakt k ngba-bra?

ATE: PAKYU kng bata k !!

,hahha GUILTY C ATE

____________________________________



IGN: Makubex
[CAN U FEEL ME?]

E2 PAMATAY N JOKE WHAHAHAHA

MAGANDANG BANAT SA EX

Ang love ko sau... parang LADY'S CHOICE

Isipin mo na lang MERON PA...

WAHAHHAHA

IGN: LADYSCHOICE

Kriminal 1: Pare, sigurado ka bang dito dadaan yung papatayin natin?

Kriminal 2: Oo, nagtataka nga ako, 1 oras na tayo dito wala parin siya!

Kriminal 1: Sana naman wlang nangyaring masama sa kanya.


DarkerNightBetterSight

Girl: Do you believe in puppy love?

Boy: I tried it once but their assholes are too small

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when i was young i used to pray for a bike then i realized that god does not work that way so i stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Want to hear two short jokes and a long joke

Joke. Joke. Joooooooooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkke


IGN- el TorRerO

lawyer: magtanungan tau bawat tanong ko n d mo masagot bibigyan mo ako ng limang piso pero pag ikaw ang nag tanong at d q nasagot bibigyan kita ng limang libo.

jose: o cge

lawyer: anung pangalan ng pang limang presidente?

jose: ...

(d xa nakasagot kaya binigyan niya ng limang piso ang lawyer )

lawyer: o cge ikaw nmn ang magtanong sakin

jose:ok, anu ang hayop n pag tumaas ng bundok ay apat ang paa at pag balik tatlo n lng?

lawyer : ...

(d xa nakasagot binigyan niya ng limang libo c jose)

lawyer: anu nga b ung tamang sagot?

(binigyan niya ng limang piso ang lawyer at ang sinabi ... )

jose: d q rin alam ehh !!! clown clown clown lol! lol!

Tomas: Sobrang tabatsoy ang misis ko, kaya gusto
niyang magbawas ng timbang. Nag-horseback riding
siya...
Jorge: Ano'ng resulta?
Tomas: Nabawasan ng sampung kilo 'yung kabayo!

-------------------------------------

Dalawang holdaper sa bangko:

Holdaper #1: Yehey! Mayaman na tayo!
Holdaper #2: Bilangin mo na!
Holdaper #1: Alam mo namang mahina ako sa math. Abangan na lang natin sa balita kung magkano!

--------------------------------------

3 tanga nagsisiksikan sa maliit na **kama**:*

TANGA1: Pare, di tayo kasya. Bawas tayo ng isa, sa lapag na
lang matulog. (Bumaba si Tanga 1.)
TANGA2: Ayan, pare maluwag na, akyat kana dito!

Sweet

haha

XD

sa Las Vegas..

Waiter: May i take your order Madam?

Aling Dionesia: Soup.

Waiter: Chicken, asparagus, noodle, fish, or soup of the day?

Aling Dionesia: soup drenks.

HAHA!!

IGN: defy the gods

"ALL THE SAME"

A Chinese walks into a bar in AMERICA late one night and sees STEVEN SPIELBERG. As he is a great fan of his movies, he rushes over him and ask for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbour, get outta here". The astonished Chinese man replies, "But it was the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese!" "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, your all the same" replies Spielberg. In return, the Chinese give Spielberg a slap and says "You sank the Titanic; my forefathers were on the ship., Shocked, Speilberg replies, "It was the Iceberg that sank the ship, not me." The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, your all the same!!"

my boy-friend used this punchline to my girl-friend when he was courting her.. i dont know if this is funny but we all laughed about it.. ok here it goes,.

BOY: ta3 ka ba??

GirL: yuccck...

BOY: cge na sagutin mo na... ta3 ka ba??

GirL: ehh err... baket???

Boy: di kasi kita matiis eh...

wahahaha


IGN: Whitesmith AngeL

BKT ginawa ang eroplano ???bkt ngah bha??



















kc sira

Pasahe
Sa Isang Jeep

Pasahero: Mama, Magkano Po Yung Pasahe?

Driver: 7.50 Yung Minimum

Pasahero: (Dumukot Ito Sa Bulsa Para Kunin Yung Pera Niya, Ngunit sa Di Sinasadyang Dahilan Kulang Yung Pamasahe Niya.) Patay, Kulang Yung Pera Ko. Paano Kaya Ito? (Nag Isip Ito At Lumingon Sa Driver. Napansin Niya Na Duling Ito. Sabi Niya Sa Kanyang Sarili, Tama Duling Yung Driver Sigurado Pag Nagbigay Ako Ng 3.75 di Niya Mapapansin Na Kulang Yung Pera Ko. Kasi Doble Yung Paningin Nito. Inabot Niya Sa Driver Yung Pera.

Ngunit Laking Gulat Niya Nung May Sinabi Yung Driver Sa Kanya.

Driver: Kulang Ito!

Pasahero: Anong Kulang? Di Ba Sabi Mo 7.50 Yung Minimum?

Driver: Oo Nga 7.50 eh Dalawa Kaya Kayo.

Patay! Akala Mo Lusot Kana ha?

TAWA NAMAN KAU DYAN
BY:ClarICe21

ano tawag dito?


pusit


eh ano tawag dito?


edi opposite


wajejejeje

~SYNC
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

key: nay pahingin nga 50

Mama Abby:40!?
akala mo ba napupulot lang ang 30?
san mo gagamitin tong 20?
hindi mo ba alam malaking halaga ang 10?
oh eto limang piso bili ka na kendi

key: O_O naging 5




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

sa tindahan

noodles: manong may ubas po ba kayo?

manong cuddlez: walang ubas d2 eh

after 5 mins

noodles:may ubas po ba?

manong cuddlez: wala sabi

noodles: may ubas po ba?

manong cuddlez: wala nga! kulit mong bata ka i-steyplerin ko na yang bibig mo

kinabukasan

noodles: manong may stapler ?

manong cuddlez: wala

noodles: pabili ubas

~~~~~~~~~~~~

korni!! wajajajjaja

IGN: imsoweak

Anong tagalog sa SIX?





ANIM!






Eh anong Tagalog sa SEX??


















ANEM!!!!

Pag Sinabi Sayo Ni KATRINA HALILI "Hi" Sabihin mo "HAYDEN"

"Kaso Malamang"

ClownD

Angel in Hell

Things To Do On An Elevator


1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask “Got enough air in there?”

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you’re embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: “You’re one of THEM” - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

SAY “I wonder what all these do?” And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: “I have new socks on.”

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: “Is that your beeper?”

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: “This is my personal space.”

14) WHEN there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say “Hi Greg, How’s your day been?”

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: “That’s mine!”

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don’t exist.

22) CALL out “Group hug” then enforce it.

IGN - Angel in Hell

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."

Acros

Breaking news: Isang malakas na bagyo ang paparating ng Pilipinas ayon sa report ng Pagasa. Ang bagyo na nagngangalang Praning ay namataan sa dakong silangan ng bansa sakay ng Philippine Airlines. At ayon ba rin sa Pagasa, ang paparating na bagyo ay madedelay ng limang oras dahil sa sama ng panahon.
...
eto n lang cornie padin..

Anak: Tay ang tanga naman ng mga kaklase ko aku lang nakasagut ng tanung ng titser!
Tatay: Bakit anak? anu pla yung tanung ng titser mu?

Anak: Ang tanung ng titser namin ay “sino walang assignment?”

tumaas aku agad ng kamay tay at cnabi kung “ako!”

kahit anu nlng sa dalawa.. =)


cornie amp T__T

IGN: skymaker08 =)

Aling Donisia at Genie

Genie: Bibigyan kita ng isang kahilingan. Anong gus2 m?

Aling Donisia : Pwede ba akong gumanda?

Genie : ahh.. Sige, buksan mo ang lampara.

Aling Donisia : at gaganda na ako??

Genie : Hindi babalik na lang ako !

Smile

IGN : Sour